Football manager Gary Caldwell thinks he sounds too ‘aggressive’. But as a fellow Scot, I know the answer isn’t to ‘Englify’ ourselves

The worst job I had was in a bank in Sydney, dealing with a life insurance policy called Lite Life Direct. It was tedious, repetitive and oddly stressful, and involved a lot of time on the phone. What made the situation particularly frustrating was that almost no one could understand my Scottish accent.

“Lite Life Direct,” I would say, three, sometimes four times down the line to no avail. Then I would cave: “Loight Loif Direct.” With my faux-Australian pronunciation, suddenly me and the caller would be simpatico.

Catriona Stewart is a Glasgow-based journalist and broadcaster specialising in politics and home affairs

Michel Hazanavicius’s sentimental tale about a baby found in the woods features sweet little cartoon birds and rabbits as well as the real horror of Nazi death camps

Directed by Michel Hazanavicius, this postmodern Holocaust fairytale premiered at Cannes last year, and turns out to be a dreamy animated curiosity which is certainly different to the icy realist rigour of other films which have appeared there on the same theme, such as Jonathan Glazer’s The Zone of Interest or László Nemes’s Son of Saul. It is adapted from a novella by author and screenwriter Jean-Claude Grumberg (who collaborated with Truffaut on The Last Metro), whose own father was murdered in the Nazi death camps.

The late Jean-Louis Trintignant has his final credit as the narrator, introducing us to scenes that could, at first glance, be from the Brothers Grimm. We see a dense central European forest … through which a second world war Nazi train is seen speeding through, carrying terrified Jews to Auschwitz. One man, with a wife, young child and a baby makes a desperate decision to throw his baby out on to the snowy hillside in the hope that someone finds it – and someone does.

Whether you’re a parent or not, you should be able to talk candidly about how tough it is having kids

A few weeks ago I told my friend – a good friend – that I was considering having a third kid. The colour washed from her face, and before her filter could kick in she said: “Please don’t.” She corrected herself. “You don’t really want to, do you?” I realised she thought I was unhappy. She thought I regretted it all. She was wrong on both accounts, but I didn’t blame her for coming to such a stark conclusion.

That friend was not Chappell Roan. But the pop star is being pelted with the internet equivalent of soiled nappies for saying “all [her] friends who have kids are in hell” and “she doesn’t know anyone who’s happy with children at her age”.

She dressed up as a bullfighter, sat in a window with two magpies and flew colossal flags of warning. We go inside a fascinating new exhibition of photographs by multimedia artist Rose Finn-Kelcey

Though the narrative goes the long way round, there are plenty of strong performances and good ideas to keep this journey interesting

Although this British horror flick gets a little muddy in strictly narrative terms with its tricky shifts in viewpoint, it’s rich enough in ideas and strong performances as well as running a blessedly crisp 88 minutes, that any flaws are easily forgiven. The story starts with Anne (Synnove Karlsen, outstanding in a demanding yet slightly underwritten role) waking from a frightening dream and going to join her boyfriend Patrick (Luke Norris) for dinner with another couple, Ryan (George Bukhari) and Jessica (Tessa Parr). The snappy banter between the foursome, which instantly and economically establishes that Patrick is an outright asshole who doesn’t deserve quiet, circumspect Anne, suddenly chills when it’s revealed the two are engaged. Jessica, for one, doesn’t approve, for reasons only revealed later.

Nevertheless, Anne and Patrick depart in the titular vehicle, driven by excessively chatty Ian (Nick Frost, also on exceptional form, and credited with contributing additional material to the script). En route, even more awkward revelations tumble out. From here on in, the film is essentially a two-and-a-half-hander, the story carried by Anne and Ian’s conversation, mostly conducted amid glances in the rear-view mirror as Ian drives, especially after Patrick loses consciousness.

Black Cab is on digital platforms from 7 April.

Work by Sarah Roberts addresses the impact of being a young carer on childhood and the strange feeling of being ‘sick-adjacent’

The leaflets next to the gallery door offering support for carers and for bereavement are an indication of the shattering power of Sarah Roberts’ new work.

Walking into Roberts’ latest installation, Sick (A Note from 40 Sandilands Road and Other Stories), viewers are hit with a disconcerting green, a colour that is supposed to be calming and healing but will resonate differently for those with experience caring for an ill or disabled family member, such as Roberts.

This account of Dr Crippen’s notorious Edwardian-era killing shifts the focus to the women at the centre of the sordid tale

On the evening of 31 January 1910, two couples dined together at a house in Hilldrop Crescent, on the borders of Holloway, London. The hosts, Dr Crippen and his wife, Belle Elmore, had been entertaining their friends, Clara and Paul Martinetti, until the small hours. After some difficulty fetching a cab, the visitors headed home around 1.30am. It was the last time they, or anyone else, would see Elmore alive. When her colleagues at the Music Hall Ladies’ Guild made inquiries about their friend – she was treasurer of the organisation – Crippen told them she had gone off to America to deal with a family crisis. Some weeks later they were informed she had died of double pneumonia in Los Angeles.

Thus was sparked an international murder case, one of the most notorious in Britain, later called “the crime of the century”. But Hallie Rubenhold ’s engrossing account begins a generation earlier when Hawley Harvey Crippen, a homeopathic doctor, met and married a nurse, Charlotte Bell, in New York. The couple moved west to San Diego, had a son, moved again. In the US of the 1880s, with its burgeoning railroads, you could always change towns, disappear, shed your mistakes along with your creditors, your given name, your dependents. This was the shifty Crippen way, and when Charlotte died of a stroke, aged 33, he was on the move and marrying again. His second wife, a Brooklynite born Kunigunde Mackamotzki, changed her name more than once, eventually settling on Belle Elmore, and after crisscrossing the US the couple emigrated to London, he to peddle his quack remedies for the Drouet Institute, she to pursue a career as an opera singer.

The celebrity duo reveal the realities of raising five children, two dogs and four ducks. Plus: Bradley Walsh signs off on his Egyptian travelogue. Here’s what to watch this evening

8pm, BBC One
Pickle Cottage opens its doors for the newest celebrity fly-on-the-wall series. Golden couple Stacey Solomon and Joe Swash let the cameras in to their home for six months, as they raise their five children, two dogs and four ducks. The duo are easy to like – especially when the besotted Joe recalls the day they met (“I haven’t been able to shake him since,” says Stacey) – in what can be described only as soft TV. It starts with them celebrating their wedding anniversary. Hollie Richardson

David Tennant and Cush Jumbo in Shakespeare’s tragedy, a puppet-powered transformation for Yann Martel’s novel and Anna Chancellor in a Restoration-era comedy are among this month’s highlights

Performances at Covent Garden’s 251-seat Donmar Warehouse have an inbuilt intimacy. Max Webster’s 2023 production of Shakespeare’s breakneck tragedy went a step further, as audiences wore headphones to experience Gareth Fry’s richly eerie binaural soundscape and savour the powerhouse pairing of David Tennant and Cush Jumbo. This film, captured in 5.1 cinema surround sound, amps up that atmosphere with some flesh-crawling closeups. On Marquee TV .